Category Archives: behavior


I am only layers of flesh, with somber thoughts wiring darts of impulses waving away without you

With depths of new life in formations of any kind, I was hoping to be alluring your posture or spending time with you everyday someway, but as chance made it were not born to be that way

Instead we must dream real hard

Perhaps stay up mighty late any day & watch the shining  falling stars

Instead we will be humble with our confusion and have faith in our despair

Because even though our love just begun we will see the bloom of our willing hearts emerging in two, pounding  with trinity and hope

Aren’t we just  layers of flesh that stick together like glue.

And sincerely I tell myself again and again I am elated to bed apart of you

We had just figured out together we are not adjusted to good byes so my love good days




I didn’t  use the proper vision to see the signs that rested in front of my face

I didn’t have the ears to listen to a heart that was so close to me in despair

I barely discovered a way to love you and myself without freedom and your voice to hear

I barley remember the tears that were solid as the ground

All I knew is that you would always be around

Like the wind you blew away

Leaving me in shivers, coldhearted & confused feeling abused

I wonder if I was the least of your concerns & I’m glad you parted with no return

I didn’t think  this love could expand or my imagination too or that I could foresight every moment coming along with you

I didn’t think  you needed me or I you but the uncertanity of we gave us both thrills that were totally unseen

I barely remember love being this distant as a plane in the sky

I barely remember truth in your constructed lies

All I knew is that something  big always seemed to interconnect me to you

I needed to see the love for it to feel true

Instead everytime I look in your eyes my heart can never deny my love for you

I didn’t think I would get stuck in this cloud

I didn’t think our love had value to stay around




Hey to All

For starters I wanted to thank wordpress for the chance to build an audience for poetry with artists such as myself.  Even though I started this blog on a sad humble note the experience through out the whole year was very helpful to me for improving my life and wisdom. 

Secondly I want to thank the abtract and beautiful thinkers as myself who supported my work ,left comments, reblogged and made me smile with there warm and kinds words. Who and where ever you are Thank you . And Thank you as well to the newcomers.


Recently I had another  emergency surgery due to my disease endometrosis .So my reasoning for not writing these months was to get in good shape , also to finish a poetry  book I was working on that was dear to me to finish . I am in the process of doing more projects and I would like my supporters to  buy my poetry book that i wanted inexpensive for all humans to read so I can  get  the attention and respect as an author, as i do on here

What you need to know : go on and in the search engine  type in : A pounding heart with flaws By Patricia Holmes & you should see my book. IT’s only 8 dollars I am trying to get it on itunes and other places I need my fellow spirits to bare with me . However if you like my work , don’t humble yourself spread the word and tell others like a a good movie or rest. Keep in mind this is my dream. To reach others all over the globe without actually seeing all of them , or hearing . Also this is the beginning of my work and I will publish more if you are not a fan of this book.


There are direct ways to contact me @heavenly_berry

Follow me and I will follow you and I promise to keep writing and sharing love as love was given too me.  Who ever is reading this  I love you . YOU may say why ? I have no reason not too. God bless all


Bible words

13563316-Christian-disegnati-a-mano-illustrazione-dei-simboli-croce-Bibbia-le-mani-rosario-Archivio-FotograficoBible words linger in my mind and I think of a cross

A pond of excuses idle under a highway drive and I think of time

A melody often replayed like a song and I think of love

Me being a shadow stretched mighty long and tall and I think of my fall

Fragments of dew from rain that was yesterday flaw and I think of the sun shining in storms

Imagine these words slip over my head and I let them go and then I think of my toes

Imagine I let the ink drip from my pen I withold and ashes burn the paper i use to write my

thoughts and I think of the years that disappeared

Bible words left holes all in my soul I had to grasp for air just thinking of the meaning

it holds and I think of god’s Plan with his right hand 

Prophecies for today and everyday and like a maze I search everyday thru clutter &  vain on a

shady lane where the trees guide you by there roots fore humans at once fade like stars……



For ……….

For dishonor

the shame of my face covered me whole

For my secrets 

intended it searched every vessel to be told

For my unknown Sacrifices

keen to lust and doubt

For trust

with lack of understanding and giving up

For jealousy

I could have ruined my faith not seeing i was born of something great

For fearfulness

in truth it’s hard escaping the devil’s way

For tears

that refreshed my heart and gave me a new start

For oppressers

On every corner of the earth it was hard to see my worth

For lies

to protect my identity it made me heartsick stealing all i knew to be true

For creativity

I craved with ego and mindless choices acting childish on purpose.

For my past

I disappointed a generation and uplifted only a few

For misery 

I’m now connected to the rain I thrive and always sustain

For Love

My pride was crushed a trillion  times leaving speckles everywhere

For eyes

I lust the ones you cant’t  trust the things unpure and the fake dreams were brainstormed to get


I now know I will do anything  I can. and yes i haven’t did nothing yet .


Limbs are heavy  with weakness that tremble my  faultless stance

I weep and crawl and fall like a infant, im experiencing this all at once

I’m fading i say, and certain possesions too, and significance in contention is wading blue

The Love we call love is fading too leaving barren words and hearts with wrath serving

pointless virtues for the use of cash. The spacious  air is fading too , leaving  fumes of

gases to destroy the plants and flowers youth and i ask myself everyday how did i get this

way?  Fading people leaving shadows or bones for ashes , the weather is swiriling effecting

masses. Fading these friends that commit to be true , they change there faces  as they

change there shoes. Their  ripeness is bitter there success is temporaray , im starting to

see everything fading in every angle  . To fragile to bear the truth , the light is fading too,

with darkness everywhere leaving only tunnel vision and fine bold letters to read and no

wonder why im poor and  so weak.s

Fighting my light to shine fore it starts to  fades away . like the astronomical days i must

live and pray and confine in I am , I am lost at destuction, pale to pain , I am lost to losses ,

heartaches for man . I am fading into a clear light , I am fading far from touch , I am much

concern with my emotions i haven’t touched, I am fading into a lie people call truth  only

leaving an imprint of me , becasue this fake place is no home for me.Each day my eyes

grow dim , leaving me to search my heart to feel safe within.




Puzzled by generations of grievance I ought to be a shadow of myself

If I was eternal I ought to remodel myself, Like god was then and today free

I am debris in the air, hearten by my life despairs

 and all go to the same place, meaning we are all dust

And will turn into dust again

Tears are disappearing but leave dried white marks on my face

I should be happy for the timeless destiny that’s in front of me yet I cry some more

This time leaving puddles on the floor, turning to rust like buildings or old age or windless

trees with strong roots that gleam and either way I’m displeased and like a disease I

keep traveling only in ruins as i fulfill my needs.

In the product of life  where fruits bear their self new wonders  I see the beauty

of treasures in this poem in this world in this idea of love in a strange way I envison

the burden I carry and release  when reminded god is always With mE +u =we 

Forever for thee eee


Backs to Backs

As we sit backs to backs and then we turn 

Sliently from lips to lips with strength to touch

hand to hand, so soft  like a fatal love song we dance.


Alluring eye to eye losing time and somehow  we watch

smile to smile fade in, face to face  with emotions

high in race, as we move our heart to heart in balance


We breathe to breathe in quiet with flesh to flesh having 

nothing to escape in grace to grace, we glide like water in palce.

Fire to fire with no pillowtalk but desire pleasure is how we get to love


Euduring pain in a rush, endearment to endearment, ear to ear  with

nothing to hear, we disappear in each others nose with a bump

and hip to hip motionless lift for a slippery touch

we swiftly bounce off air  as matter collects dust.


With this indisposition I beguile to know the right words to my heart to wash out the pain  and all i do is struggle in a muffle

I am completely taut of the existence I share with the world , trying to find  happiness in the hues of black and tar.

Today i ensphere  my  doubts, my confusion, my past, my presence , the pressure, the failure, the anger, the pride , the visions, my god  all in one and i was beyond full like a ballon filled with  gas to see the shape it brung.

Even though my heart had weeped in passion , i was numb and  firey coated like acid when it touches something elastic or close to skin . I remember losing everything  I loved to do because of the health condition I was in

Night sweats  combinded with day , emptying the lingering  mucus and water that rested in my body that day ,and then i thought even your body has a job to clean  you up , so then where was the people to lift you up?

Friends , my disease outweighted them, left them there like crumbs , i was scare to ever sweep them up, but the grace in my heart could never forget what they was missing  or pretend to not see. they .was missing a heart and some needed me. full exposure i showed of pain even in the happiest moments i felt vain.

Somewhere i thought the devil is hiding in me  and i must remove the feeling that only god is part of me . some days i get this word called  jeaously fore i can’t do the normal things other women and  men can do  and i doubt at the second of there knowing they wouldn’t trade shoes to know what i go through.

Everday i’m lying to myself knowing this disease haves no cure, no end and when my bones are weak they say prevail i have possibly a long life of  this and hell for the sunset i see everyday reins as the clouds and the rain on the other side . so my only hope is to  have patches of beauty and life combined to deal with all the grey. and maybe misplace the feeling that things will not be okay.

O Vanity

Be afarid of the height in vanity

Fear the rise in pain, destruction is promised in vain

Folly in the souls rising at dawn to destruct

Powerless some citizens are having no one to trust

If we must sought god in the sight of dark

Part your hearts, not flesh, unity will help us at best

For  serving this land is not grand nor safe

Were in a spell that will never be replaced

Sustain your beauty for love

Awake  your heart to faith, behold all garments  are gone.

There is nothing on earth we can take

Make haste on the vision that duly is right 

Nation against Nation willing will fight

People bow down , because the feel lowliness and  Vanity is a fixed outcome

So if you must rebel, don’t withold your might

Where there is light there is god

Opression too, you’ve been trampled  down in the  only home you knew

You live a vain life good or bad

In a flash  of a second, life could be over and the devil could be dead

And where would vanity be ?

I figure in memory……………….